My Jack You'll Always Be - Oneshot
by FictionaleVoid
Summary: Jack is tucked in for the night at him and Ma's apartment, excited for his sixth birthday, and can't decide on a nighttime story until Ma shows him one from her childhood. She becomes bombarded with emotions as she relives the book with her son and it becomes the center focus for him as he returns the phrase; "Love you Forever."


**Disclaimer:** I am not Emma Donoghue, and I do not own Jack or Ma. I am not Robert Munsch either and do not own the children's book "Love You Forever."

This is a one-shot about Ma and Jack from his point of view I did for an assignment. Please enjoy :)

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Tomorrow I get to be six. It took millions of days but now I'm finally older. Six candles on a birthday cake that's going to be chocolate. Ma put the mix in the basket when she told me to look at the toys on the shelves. She doesn't know but I saw a red truck buried under the food that she 'secretly' got when I was turned. On our way home she talked about my birthday. I tried so hard not to grin when she asked me what I wanted for presents. I can't stop thinking about my birthday.

That was hours ago and God's face has gone down already, I know it's called the sun, we sing about it in School songs. _Mr. Sun_ , it's stuck in my head now. Playing over and over. I hum it to myself so only I can hear.

Light from the lamp is very bright tonight, it shows a book Ma put in front of me again. _Franklin's first day at school._ "You only said one story." My finger is bent on the hard cover.

Ma's eyebrow goes up. "And?"

"It's too short."

"Okay..." It's taken away. The bed leans with Ma, bumping and she comes up with another book. "What about this one?"

 _Alice in Wonderland_. I read that so many times already. "No thank you."

"Aw come on, Jack." She groans softly. "It's getting late." I don't want to say anything. Just lay there with Ma all warm with me under the duvet. Her eyes get droopy, looking at me. "And since when do you not like Alice in Wonderland, hm?"

She doesn't understand. "I do like it. I just want a different one now."

There's ten seconds, I count them. "Alright." She huffs her breath and gets up. Bed jumps back into place when she stands. Her side is warm and I take it for myself while she goes through the closet.

Things tumble around and Ma jumps once to catch something. A small voice of something I'm not supposed to hear. A bad word. She clears her throat and turns to me with a dirty old cardboard box with scrambled black lines all over it. "You remember when Grandma came over and gave us this?"

"Yeah."

"There's some old books in here too. Stuff that she used to read to me as a kid…I wonder-" She stops. The air gets all heavy.

"Ma?"

"Oh…" A big smile makes her eyes squinty. She laughs small.

"What?"

She bites her bottom lip, smiles gone now. "I think you'll like this. Scooch over." She's coming back with another book, light blue and green in lamp light. I give back her spot.

My side is cold when I move back. Ma snuggles into bed, I move close to her to share the warmth.

 _"'Love You Forever.'"_ She reads the title that I can read.

There is a baby sitting near a toilet which has lots of toilet paper and other stuff around it. He's made a big mess and he's smiling about it. He shouldn't be smiling. Ma would be so mad if I did that.

"Why is he smiling?"

"I don't know. Maybe the author wanted him to be that way."

"But why?"

"Maybe his mother walked in and caught him red handed, a lot of kids get into things when they're young.

His hand isn't red. Then I wondered something. "Did I get into things?"

"Many times."

I don't remember ever doing it. "When?"

Nothing is said for a bit. "In Room." _Thump thump_ went her heart, picking up like a running horse.

No way, I could never make a mess like that. "I wouldn't!"

"You did."

"Why?"

"Do you want me to read the story, or are we going to play twenty questions?"

I didn't know you could play a question.

She sighs. "Curiosity. Can't tell you how many times I would have my back turned or I would get up from a nap and I could see my reflection on the floor." A laugh moves her chest. "Actually it was frustrating, a lot of the time."

"I'm sorry."

Ma shrugs. My head moves with her. "You didn't know."

Getting under the big warm covers I twitch my nose, it's cold. "I want you to read me the story now."

She clears her throat and opens the rock hard over, it sits on my arm. Then she turns a page and another, they scratch my skin very lightly, but I like how it tickles. I move closer until I can't anymore. The first picture is a lady in blue nightgown sitting in a chair with a baby in a yellow blanket. Then Ma starts in a soft voice;

 _'_ _A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:_

 _I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my baby you'll be.'_

"But I'm not a baby." It barely gets out.

"What?"

"You're talking about a baby..."

"I'm talking about you. You're my baby." Her face comes in real close.

I laugh when her nose bumps mine. But I'm also confused. "Not anymore."

"No...but it's about the memory though."

"How? I don't remember it."

A long sigh through her nose, I feel the hot air. She's thinking. "What if I change the name? What about putting in Jack instead?"

I liked that idea very much. "Okay."

She started off again, but at the lullaby this time;

 _I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living  
my Jack you'll be.'_

Having my name in the book felt nice. It was all just for me. Ma showed me her smile and kept reading with highness and change with every word.

 _'The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mother's watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say, "this kid is driving me CRAZY!"'_

Her voice got loud when the Mom was talking. "Did I drive you crazy?"

"Yes, sometimes." A pause. "And right now."

My face fell, I bend my neck to look up at her. "Why?"

"Because I'll never finish this story." She smiles down at me. Oh she's just being silly.

I smile back. "Sorry. I want to hear it. Please keep going."

Ma continues to read from the book in a humming voice that makes me feel okay. She points out some things in the picture, they're interesting to her, not to me all the time though. I just like listening.

She talks about how the boy grew until he was nine. I think about being nine. That was forever away...

"Jack?"

I had my eyes closed without knowing it. "Yeah?"

"I think we should stop for tonight."

My eyes flew open. I didn't want to stop. It was going to be too quiet if she did. "No. Keep reading, please."

The bed moved with Ma, shaking me a little bit. "Okay. Just a little more."

She said that he did bad words. I remember something. "Like what you did?"

"What?"

"When you almost dropped something."

"Oh. You heard that?"

"Not really." I try to smile to make her think I was telling the truth.

"I'm sorry. I'll try not to, alright?"

"Don't be like the boy."

She grins. "Not like the boy."

We settle in again.

Now the boy was a teenager with strange friends. Strange how? And the house was a mess again. Thank goodness it's only a book, and not real life. And that the boy is not real and not me or Ma would be more stressed out than she already is.

At the end of the page I hear her mumble something like. "Can't wait..." I don't ask because I want her to finish.

 _'That teenager grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was a grown-up man. He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she rocked him she sang:_

 _I'll love you forever,_  
 _I'll like you for always,_  
 _As long as I'm living_  
 _my Jack you'll be.'_

"Wow he's an adult already." Now she was the one interrupting. "Please don't grow up too fast Jack."

Why would she say that? It took me so long to get to six.

"Time flashes before your eyes, you know?"

"How does time flash?" With a camera? Flashlight? It doesn't make sense.

"It means fast...I still remember the day you were born, like it was yesterday." Her eyes get all wet and shiny.

I don't want to say anything because I feel like she's going to burst with tears. So instead I squeeze myself to her and lie loose again on the pillow. She smiles and the water is gone. All better now.

"Sorry. It just hit me." The words on the page that made her sad came out of her mouth again in quietness.

The mother was grey now and she was the one that had to be rocked to sleep. I thought it was weird. Moms aren't children. But then I read the part on my head about her sickness and it made sense. It made me sad that she couldn't sing anymore. Maybe that's why Ma is crying.

There was one part where the lullaby was the same, but with a different word. Oh. The man is me, but older. Ma could hardly speak now so I did it for her. So I said quietly just like she did with all the other times, but slower;

 _'I'll love you forever,_  
 _I'll like you for always,_  
 _As long as I'm living_  
 _my Mommy you'll be.'_

Ma hiccups. I have to look. Her eyes are so wide I can see the brown and white beyond, they are swimming. "Oh Jack." A warm kiss pats me on top of my head and stays there. Her chest rises and falls slowly sounding like a breeze. The bed is so warm it's like sleeping under the sun, sleepy warmth that makes me melt. I don't think I need any presents or a party right now. I like where I am.

"Ma?"

"Hm?"

"Are you going to finish reading?"

"I don't think I can." She yawns so big I can feel it on my head.

"That's okay." But it's bright in the room, even with my eyes closed. That's not okay. "Can you turn off the light?"

A puff of laughing air, a click and the room goes dark.

I'm switching off to dreamland with Ma and a lullaby in my ears.

I hear a break in the humming. "Forever my Baby you'll be."

"I'm going still to be six..." Muffled under the covers.

Something's funny, it moves Ma's shoulders. "I know. But you're still Jack. And you'll always be..." The night sighs at us through the open window. "...Mine."

"Goodnight, Ma."

Her breathing replies back and I drift off with it.

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Feel free to review and tell me what you think. Good? Bad? Needs work?

Okay I'm going to sleep now. Stay tuned for updates on my other fan-fiction...😴


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